Down & Out...

I began feeling sick on Tuesday, and everyday for the next 8 days from there I felt increasingly worse. After a night of 103/104 degree temps and increased body aches and a migraine followed by a day where I felt even worse, I went into urgent care late Friday where they decided I probably had the dreaded swine flu and had caught it at the wedding we shot the weekend prior. The nurse and doctor immediately left the room returning minutes later with masks and an increased worry in their eye. They immediately proclaimed that I be quarantined and that April, our son and myself be put on medication. Of course we perfectly fit into the high risk category for this flu; a diabetic, a pregnant asthmatic and a toddler under two. Being that it was so late on Friday, the test would not go out until Monday, at which point it would take 3 days to come back. Fortunately I didn’t have to shoot that weekend. At first I was worried that quarantine meant being put in a padded air tight chamber somewhere in the recesses of the hospital. However I guess this isn’t how it works. I got to go home, but wasn’t allowed to have contact with anyone and immediately took my place in our lower level where I was to spend the next five days…alone.

The medicine didn’t help at all. Saturday was probably the sickest I had been in my life. Debilitating headache, crazy sensitivity to light, intense aches in my neck and body, motion based nausea, and limited hearing. It was the sickest I had been in recent memory until Sunday came along. Relentless fevers led to uncontrollable shaking that was only remedied by a warm shower which led to re-elevation of my fever and so on. TV had never seemed so boring. We are constantly on the move going from one project to the next whether it’s work related or personal. I don’t remember the last time I spent an entire day trying to watch tv, not to mention 3 days in a row. I don’t understand how people do it. I couldn’t concentrate long enough to read or play video games. And the wonderful little side effect of the flu medication called insomnia had really began to take full effect. April would leave wonderful meals for me at the top of the stairs, and for a brief moment I would get to see her and our son Koeplin at the top of the stairs before they had to close the door. He learned to say ‘Dad sick’ all to well. The trip up the stairs to get my dinner was almost impossible at times as the pain from the headache and body aches didn’t allow me to move to easily. By Monday night I was a champion at taking frozen showers in an attempt to at least get my fever down to 101. The little bit of sleep I got the next two days was interrupted by the uncontrollable shivers that I could only end by taking a warm shower that of course elevated my fever back to the 103 level that was becoming the norm. My diabetes really began to become uncontrollable, so I was in touch with the doctors again. This time my own doctor who after some convincing allowed me to come in. The little bit of time I had spent on the internet becoming an expert on swine flu and other illnesses had led me to begin to doubt my diagnosis. After convincing her that I had no respertory or coughing issues and probably wasn’t contagious, they let me come in for more tests and analyze my blood sugars. I pulled together enough energy (looking back I’m not sure how) to make the short trip to the hospital where she re diagnosed me with lyme’s disease, though again the tests would take a day or two to come back and until the swine flu test came back negative I would need to remain quarantined…which really was one of the worst parts of this whole ordeal. April and I have a wonderful career where we get to spend just about every hour of every day together and at least 5 out of 7 days a week with our son even while we’re working. It’s the opposite of how most families get to spend their time, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. So being away, even though in the same home was really strange and hard. The only contact we had was via cell phone and those brief angelic moments when she was at the top of the stairs where her and Koeplin would be back lit and my eyes too used to darkness to adjust.

How would I spend another 2 or 3 days like this? With the likely hood of me having swine flu diminishing we decided to meet outside, where I would of course still keep my distance, but would at least be able to see them and hear their voices in person and not over the phone or through the ceiling of my dungeon. It took some doing. I was extremely weak, I actually felt like how I would imagine a very old man in his nineties would feel. Knowing once not so long ago my body was capable of so much more, was so much stronger. I could run, jump, even just walk with out extreme pain. My balance used to be so much better, I knew that for sure. My eyes could focus and see things, even with out my glasses, it wasn’t’ always the blurry mess it had become. Not to mention that I hadn’t shaved in like 4 or 5 days.

I got it together and headed outside. It had been less than a week, but now I fully understood what Koeplin's grandparents really meant when they would say how much he changed inbetween times they would see him. And April had never looked so beautiful, though I’m sure she would say that she didn’t even get ‘ready.’ It was almost a surreal visit, like I wasn’t really there. Watching Koeplin play and sadly having to tell him to stay away from me when he’d start to come close. In some ways it was worse because I couldn’t get too close or give them a hug. But the whole visit, even how short it was, left me feeling so much better…for a little bit at least. We said our good byes and I returned to the cavern below. I had worn sun glasses because my eyes were so sensitive to light and so that April didn’t see how terrible my eyes looked or the bruise that formed for some un known reason around my right eye. With my re-diagnoses came additional medicine, an anti-biotic. But even if this was the answer, I wouldn’t begin to feel the effects for a few days. The flu medicine helped mask my symptoms slightly in the mornings. Giving me a ray of hope that today was going to be the day where things headed the other direction and I started feeling better not worse. After the first two days of this false sensation I began giving little weight to it. However a revised fever regimen led to stabilized fevers in the 99-101 range, which was a relief. Tuesday brought with it a new range of symptoms. A stiffness in my neck like I had never felt. A strange tightening of my jaw, which made it difficult to open my mouth wide enough to even eat a simple sandwich. And magically a ‘bullseye’ appeared on my hip. A ‘bulleyes’ is the call sign of lyme’s disease, but doesn’t always accompany the condition. Had I had one of these a month earlier I possibly wouldn’t of ever had to endure this suffering. Now here it was, rearing it’s ugly head and really providing confirmation for me that this was what I was up against and not the swine flu or some other illness. I still couldn’t risk getting someone else sick, so I would have endure isolation until the results came back for at least one more night...maybe the worst of the whole illness. The previously mentioned symptoms seemed to intensify and really build. How many more days of this would I need to endure?

Then almost like magic they began to release their grip. Early the next afternoon I was greeted by a phone call that confirmed what I had already known, that I didn’t have swine flu and that I could once again rejoin the living and ascend from the underworld that was our lower level where I had been sentenced too for the last five and half days. The hugs and greetings that followed were some of the most meaningful of my life. It was amazing to have my family back and to be able to be amongst them once again. Over the next few days things really turned around and by Saturday I was barely feeling any of the symptoms that had been with me for most of the previous two weeks. I was so happy to be back to life that it didn’t phase me like it would of when on Friday night we realized that not just one, but two of our cameras where no longer working. What’s the big deal? We’ll just do that upgrade we’ve talked about for so long but didn’t really think was financially wise and buy a new camera while they’re in the shop. It’s funny how much smaller problems can appear when you truly have something to reference their size against. Number one lesson learned, never take your health for granted. I’m just glad to be ‘back.’ And…I now seriously hate ticks. –Derrick